(Profile 5). No socializing. The music inside
It was early in the morning that I was not well. In the office was met with nothing new, I hurried up the usual things like every day, I had exchanged a few words with his colleagues, nothing special, the usual praise and the usual jokes. Once back home in my car, I noticed that all things had remained exactly as they were, without which nothing is moved or I remember putting it in a different place. I thought that it was difficult to get along in the usual precise way, I could not find no pleasure in seeing how everything was exactly like that, without any variation, this property because it gave me nausea.
Then I left home, I did a walking tour along the main street of my neighborhood, I was then entered into a room, any bar, where I had never been sincere. The expression on my face I felt almost disrespectful to anyone, like a mask that shows the desire for the wearer to be alone, to be out of the ordinary attitudes, away from everyone, but to be collapsed to live with random people with whom compare the normal behavior, exchange a few words, to show social.
I was made to serve a beer, then I was approached at the bottom of the pool hall, where they played three or four, but just something to watch and listen to some opinion. A well-dressed man won, but in silence, calmly, without showing his superiority, by not giving satisfaction to see that probably felt, as he was capable of doing. I watched his hands, his manner of acting. Some of the players complained about the ill-fated evening, others cashed without losing too much damage.
put my beer on a table, I sat on the edge of the playing area. I stood several minutes in silence, always watching those players, then broke with a loud laugh that I could not even say what had caused it. I looked at all, imagining that everyone laughed at him, referring to him or something, but nobody found anything to say. Finally I got up, I apologized of my attitude, I paid my beer and went out. I stood on the sidewalk a few minutes, without knowing exactly what to do, if you go home or not, until I saw the door of the bar out of the well-dressed man who earlier won the pool.
He walked toward the parking lot nearby, and I followed him. We crossed the street a few steps away, he was conscious that I was behind, I was sure, but he continued to show his indifference. Finally he took out the key to his car, put his hand on the door handle at the exact moment when I was there, beside him, without even quite knowing what I was doing there. I hit him in the face with a fist very strong, much to drop it, then assestai some kicks, while he was on the ground, which probably caused him to lose consciousness. I walked away with indifference, and no one had noticed anything.
I continued my stroll through the streets of my neighborhood, I had my breath, I felt sweaty forehead to the efforts that I had requested that my action. I was not happy, I did not feel particularly relieved that I had done, but I knew it was my duty to belabor any person: it was as if I could not escape from doing what I felt in my nature to man, as if to exit at least for a moment the role of ordinary person, I just have to do so.
back into the house after having found the calm: do not feel anything inside me, only indifference as ever, the same old same feeling, which frankly I would have done even less. I tried to think of something else that was not just myself, but I realized that it was not possible: all swirling around about what I was, or at least what could prove to be. When I lay down on the bed I felt well-being: another day had passed, there was little, maybe I could tackle the next with less discomfort.
Bruno Magnolfi
